thecutdiamond | who says you can't go home?

She should have known that when her boy went back to the place of her birth, he would have fallen into it immediately. He was too much both his parents' son not to. Still, when he calls telling her he's Challenging and wouldn't she please come and watch, just this once, she can't help but go.

It's her boy's first Challenge, after all. Had things gone differently this would have happened three years ago and probably would have been a little more violent in nature. As it is, he's inherited her-- or maybe more Andrew's, really-- stellar ability at chess, and she knew he'd done well in selecting it.

She almost doesn't make it to the Challenge because her first time stepping on the Deck soil in years has her breath coming up short. Pushes herself through it, for Arik's sake.

She's so much older than she was since she left. She doesn't imagine there's many people who would really look past the short brown hair and fake glasses to realize they recognize her distinctly Fioro eyes and nose; the curve of her absolutely Caustello lips. Arik knows her and the small handful of disguises she's worn over the years that she's sure he'll recognize her, regardless.

But some people know her too well, still, even with all the years that have passed. And some people aren't going to let her visit go unnoticed.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"No."

There's the faintest hint of sorrow in Rachel's voice. She barely seems to notice it's presence, the way the hurt lingers in her expression despite her general look of neutrality.

"For him-- for him it does."

He knows the answer. He knows the answer without asking.

If he could have fallen out of love with her, he would have by now, and might have been able to stop himself from asking.

"Maybe-- for you too, Rachel."

She knows how to smile and almost make it look she means it. She does it now, to shove away at the ache in her chest that comes from feeling like she's losing her son.

"There's no place for me here, anymore."

At least, she's not very good at seeing it.

"There is."

This isn't the time or place, he knows, to be discussing something this important. He just feels equally certain that there will never get to be another time or place if he lets this one go.

"There will-- always be a place for you here. This is where you're from." Not where she is, maybe, and not what she calls home, certainly, but nothing can take away the years she spent growing up here. "If-- If you wanted to be here, Rachel, if-- you wanted to come back and-- be close to Arik, it--"

It would be perfect. Even if he had to rearrange his entire life so she could live hers without having to see him, it would be perfect to know she was back.

"We could make it work."

The shake of her head is slight, instinctive. She doesn't entirely mean it.

"Where would I go?" she asks him, voice soft, "It's been years. I wouldn't exactly be able to-- slide back into the swing of things as if nothing's happened."

She doubts she'd be welcome in the Diamonds, and there's no chance she's going to the Spades or Hearts.

She can't even begin to think of how things would work, with the Clubs.

The shake of his head is insistent. The twitch of his fingers, barely kept back from reaching out again.

"Not-- as if nothing's happened. But it's-- it's not like people don't leave and come back. It just takes-- It just takes really-- wanting to be here again."

When people came back without determination, they often left again. When they came because they were coming home, they tended to find ways to make their lives work again.

"Look, it's--" He has to bite himself back. He has to take a deep breath. "I should go-- see Arik. But... but think about it. Talk to Andrew about it. Please. I'm begging you."

She can't help the hesitation. She also can't help the eventual nod that comes.

"Tell him I love him, and that we'll chat soon," she says, nodding in the direction of her-- their-- son, "I'll... I'll talk to Andrew."

And she isn't promising she'll think about coming home, but there's no question about whether or not it's on her mind, now.

Relief is obvious. It allows, briefly, his lips to curl toward a smile as he ducks his head.

"I'll-- see you, Rachel."

And even just the possibility he might lifts so much of the hurt from him. It makes it that much easier to move to meet her--his--their--son with a tight proper hug of congratulations.

She doesn't verbally respond to his words. Just nods slightly, manages a flicker of a smile and a half-wave as she goes in search of her cousin.

Arik's grip on his father will be just a tight, just a touch desperate, "'s Mom okay?"

His smile is entirely beaming for Arik, of course. His hug is entirely tight and just a hair protective.

"She's fine." And isn't that something, to speak to his son about Rachel. To their son. "She's-- so proud of you, Arik. We both are."

Isn't that something.

"Thanks, Dad."

And it would make Rachel's heart soar, to know her son accepts his father's pride so easily. To know that he doesn't doubt for a moment that his parents are proud of him, and can accept whenever they affirm it.

"Did she-- leave already or 's she... staying for a bit?"

They hadn't gotten to talk all that long, after all, and he missed his mother.

It's an important thing. It's something that keeps his own heart beating fast for the joy of knowing his own son isn't growing up with the same doubts and hurts he had.

One arm can't help staying around Arik's shoulders even when he leans back again, free hand lifting to ruffle the young man's hair.

"She went to talk to your Uncle Andrew." Which surely must sound like the wonderful news it is. "She said to tell you she loves you, and that she'll chat with your soon, all right?"

"All right."

There's a bright smile to hear that she's talking to his uncle. It's absolutely good news to hear. He knew his mother had been missing her cousin.

"It went well, yeah?"

He did win, but it's the part of his mother in him that wonders if he did it with grace.

"It went well." There's a reassuring squeeze for that. "The first time always feels-- strange. But you start to get used to it, if you do it enough."

If he wants to. If he finds it in his life path.

He could be Ace or stay a Three forever, honestly.

"'kay, then."

He doesn't know, yet, how much farther he's going to go in terms of Rank. It's still nice to know.

One more firm kiss to the boy's temple. One more tight squeeze.

"We love you." It's as important as each parent saying it as an individual, he feels. "And we're-- so proud of you, Arik. Remember that."

"I will, Dad."

As if he could ever really forget it, with how good they both are at reminding him.

who says you can't go home?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject