thecutdiamond: (the brightest shine briefest)
Rachel Caustello ([personal profile] thecutdiamond) wrote2013-03-15 11:40 pm
Entry tags:

the sometime nightmare quality of our lives [For heartbreakclub]

 It isn't often that she gets nightmares, truth be told. Usually, she's too exhausted from the day to doing anything else but sleep deeply; her body's way of trying to recover from the strain.

But for some reason, tonight her sleep isn't just a blissful, dreamless reprieve from reality. Instead, it's a terror-filled mixture of old ghosts and new ones that has her waking up screaming.

And even once she's awakened, the dreams cling so tightly to her mind that she's entirely disoriented and entirely unable to help the loud sobs that rip themselves from her throat.
heartbreakclub: (You called?)

[personal profile] heartbreakclub 2013-03-16 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
It was the type of commotion that would have sent every parent running. Despite the throbbing headache, dry throat and exhaustion, he found himself standing outside Rachel's door, knocking a few times before slipping softly inside her room.

"Rachel?"
heartbreakclub: (Default)

[personal profile] heartbreakclub 2013-03-16 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
"No, I- wasn't sleeping anyway," he lied as he cleared his throat and moved to sit down on the edge of her bed. He doesn't know whether to wrap his arms around her or rest his hand on her head or on her back or take her hand in his so for now, he can only breathe a soft sigh and look at her silhouette almost cautiously.

"What's wrong?" He felt uneasy about asking, because he didn't know how to respond to a potential barrage of concerns and worries and pains. But he does know that he wants her to tell him anyway.
heartbreakclub: (That's too bad.)

Yey~

[personal profile] heartbreakclub 2013-03-16 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
He finally settled on running his hand over her soft hair. It was easier to do this in the darkness where they were just two dark shadows on the bed than switch the light on and see the embodiment, the shell of her mother sitting there in distress.

"It's just a dream." It was just a dream, but they couldn't wake up from the reality where they were both alone, sitting here in the dark, and he didn't know what to say to her to comfort her.
heartbreakclub: (Let me get this straight.)

[personal profile] heartbreakclub 2013-03-17 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
It wasn't fair on either of them, that he should be the one left behind to take care of her when he clearly wasn't capable of doing this on his own.

He slipped his hand around behind her back and held her close, rubbing her upper arm to try and comfort her. It probably wouldn't be of much comfort to know that he was scared, too.

"What're you scared of?" he asked quietly.
heartbreakclub: (So... what?)

[personal profile] heartbreakclub 2013-03-17 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
"I know, I know. It's alright," he said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. For a moment they could pretend that things were back to the way they had been before - even though the both of them knew better than that - and that he wasn't ill-equipped to be the man, the father she needed him to be to help her get through this.

"Do you think you could get some sleep if I stay here?"
heartbreakclub: (That's too bad.)

[personal profile] heartbreakclub 2013-03-17 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
"Of course not." He doesn't know how much harder he's making this on her, for her to know that he's fully capable of these moments where he could take care of her and support her. For her to have to live with someone who's drunk most of the time and cuts her to the bone with harsh words and words unsaid, who could redeem himself by pulling himself together, and in the end chose to love his misery more than loving her.

There's no reason for the Caustellos to be in this state if he'd known.

He pulls the covers over her when she goes to lie down again and sits down next to her, waiting in the dark until the whimpers even out to slow, deep breaths and the shuffle of creased sheets.