Rachel Caustello (
thecutdiamond) wrote2012-10-23 01:26 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
100 Fairy Tales
001. | The fox as shepherd. | 002. | Curing a sick lion. | 003. | The saving blood. | 004. | The first to see the sunrise. | 005. | Learning to fear men. -past!Rachel |
006. | What was whispered in his ear. -Young!Edchel | 007. | Blood-brothers. | 008. | Sin and grace. -Mensverse!Rachel | 009. | The danced-out shoes. | 010. | The princess in the shroud. |
011. | The girl as helper in the hero’s fight. -returned!Rachel | 012. | The youth transformed. -AU!Edchel | 013. | The magician and his pupil. | 014. | The youth who wanted to learn what fear is. | 015. | Little brother and little sister. |
016. | Sleeping beauty. | 017. | Friends in life and death. -Eddrew brotp | 018. | The bridge to the other world. | 019. | The confession. | 020. | All stick together. -Pierchel |
021. | Beloved of women. | 022. | The dance among thorns. | 023. | The devil’s contract. | 024. | Open sesame. | 025. | Invisible voices. |
026. | Her only trick. | 027. | The hunter. | 028. | The lazy boy. | 029. | The snare. | 030. | The rhyme. |
031. | Thank you three times. | 032. | Why it turned winter. | 033. | The spider brings luck. | 034. | A pound of flesh. -Lysa | 035. | Wise through experience. |
036. | Like wind in the hot sun. | 037. | The blood that testified to the truth. | 038. | The partition of an inheritance. | 039. | Bargain not to become angry. | 040. | Casting eyes. |
041. | Cleaning the child. -H/V!Sydney & Cadogan | 042. | Contest in words. | 043. | The ogre injured. | 044. | As much as you can carry. | 045. | With his whole heart. |
046. | The man who competes with the devil. | 047. | The girl who ate so little. | 048. | Sunlight carried into the windowless house. -Rachel and Eileen | 049. | The man takes seriously the prediction of death. | 050. | Mistaken identity. |
051. | Fools frightened. | 052. | Sailing in a contrary wind. | 053. | Hospitality. | 054. | How wide the world is. | 055. | The girl who patched her apron. |
056. | The silence wager. | 057. | The old woman as troublemaker. | 058. | The girl who does not know herself. | 059. | The thunderstorm. | 060. | Staying with a friend in rainy weather. |
061. | The practical girl. -Mensverse!Adair | 062. | Keeping up appearances. | 063. | Clean and tidy. | 064. | Nothing to cook. | 065. | The dead shall remain dead. -Edchel (two in one!) |
066. | A clever boy. | 067. | The girl who ran so fast. | 068. | Carrying part of the load. | 069. | The girl who wanted to be always young. | 070. | The first harbinger of spring. |
071. | Cleverness and gullibility. -Rachel and Eileen | 072. | For the long winter. | 073. | Know-it-all. | 074. | Building castles in the air. | 075. | What should I have said? |
076. | The forgotten word. | 077. | Jealousy. | 078. | Two match-makers. | 079. | Echo answers. | 080. | Can’t take a joke. |
081. | Cards fall from the sleeve of the preacher. | 082. | The man who will never say thanks. | 083. | The girl who is spinning the thread of fate. | 084. | Good-bye, you dirty world. | 085. | 'Who gives his own goods shall receive it back tenfold.' |
086. | Three words at the grave. -Edchel | 087. | Imagined penance for imagined sin. -canon!Rachel | 088. | A realistic demonstration. -Hollywood!Rachel and kiddos | 089. | You shall see me a little while longer. | 090. | Another matter. -Ace!Rachel |
091. | Too much talk. | 092. | Wishing contests. | 093. | A miraculous escape. | 094. | Good luck. | 095. | I knew you were coming. -Hollywood!Sydilim |
096. | Unusual hearing. -Edchel | 097. | The wishing ring. -Hollywood!Syd/ Feilim | 098. | No time for sickness. | 099. | The lucky shot. | 100. | The poisoned apple. |
no subject
086. Three words at the grave. Edchel.
090. Another matter. Ace!Rachel
071. Cleverness and gullibility. Rachel and Eileen.
008. Sin and grace. Mensverse!Rachel, bonus points for Cadochel or Adair or BOTH.
011. The girl as helper in the hero’s fight. returned!Rachel
no subject
It's summer. The newly-cut marble is smooth to the touch. She traces the letters once before she steps away again, blinks away the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
It's autumn. The leaves crunch lightly beneath her feet as she moves towards the grave. She regrets the noise they make when Argine, already standing at the stone, turns to face her. They lock eyes for a brief moment, and then Rachel gives her fellow Queen a calm nod before walking away.
It's winter. The stone is cold even through the gloves she wears, and she can feel the rough edges time has worn into it. She brushes the snow lightly off of it as her niece speaks with her other father, quietly thinking of how she misses them both.
It's spring. The grass is green and releases a sickly-sweet odor where her crutches break the blades. She isn't able to kneel like she used to, but she absently tugs on the chain a ring used to hang on and stands by his side like she used to in life.
It's summer again. She walks with a cane now and may always, but she's able to carefully settle down on the warm ground, press her forehead against the stone and close her eyes; pretend its his forehead pressing back, pretend that the summer air is his breath. The tears slip out easily now from beneath her shut lids, and she whispers to him a thousand times, like she has before and will again.
no subject
There's always something else to be done. Always another threat to subdue, another pile of paperwork to conquer, another trip to the outpost that needs to be made. Since becoming Ace, life has been a series of Anothers, and in the brief moments when she does find herself with a moment to breathe, she find she doesn't mind so much.
Because if she stops, if she slows down, if she starts to think, then she realizes that no matter how many Anothers she deals with, she still can't quite hush that voice in the back of her mind that tells her she can be better, that she isn't good enough.
And if she isn't dealing with Another matter that lands on her plate, then she can hear it speaking loud and clear.
no subject
Eileen has old eyes. Rachel doesn't understand it-- Edgar and Argine are still so beautifully young, even now that they'd married and had a daughter. But she looks at the little girl and despite the way her eyes glimmer with joy, they still look so very old.
It gets worse as she gets older, when they make her Ace and the way she speaks begins to match the age of her eyes. Rachel hates it, wants to bring her to the days when she could be lead to believe that there really was a man who lived in the moon and who would grant your wishes if you said them kindly enough.
But there's no man on the moon, and Eileen has lost too much to believe that wishes come true, and every so often she'll say something so very sharp for someone her age that Rachel can't help but be startled.
But Eileen is an Ace, and so Rachel hides her quiet grief and gives what support she can, lets her niece know how well she is loved.
And sometimes-- well. Sometimes she looks up at the moon and wishes that innocence could be restored.
She just must never ask it kindly enough.
no subject
Drea my heart.
MY HEART.
no subject
/o\
/o-offers duct tape?
no subject
Sleeplessness is an expected curse of a Face Card. Worries or regrets often weigh so heavily on the heart and mind that they have to be worked through in the dead of night, or else they'll not be dealt with at all.
After Adrien takes his dark turn, sleeplessness is an almost natural state for Rachel.
At first, it's because she fears the assassins that he may send after her. She puts all the security measures she can to prevent it, of course, but often she can't lie down when she thinks of the venomous snake that may have been slipped between the sheets; all the ways one can be strangled or suffocated with a pillow and its case alone.
Then, it's because she spends her nights with Cadogan, her moments with him making her so happy despite the trials that she can't bear to disentangle herself from them to sleep. Even then, the weight of her guilt rests so heavily on her chest that she can't bear to lie down, has to get up and pace or simply stare out the window, eyes unseeing. Whenever he finds her in that state, he slips up beside her carefully, squeezes her hand three times and presses a kiss into her neck. Sometimes she'll acede to his quiet plea to come to bed. Others will have them standing like that until daybreak.
Soon, it's because the weight and stirs of the child in her womb distract her. She can't pace like she used to, but she does lie awake in the darkness, one hand resting on her swollen abdomen as she speaks to the daughter that she knows now will never know her face. The thought leaves her weeping into Cadogan's arms, some nights, although she doesn't ever tell him she knows how this will end. Jesus Christ may have warned His disciples of the sacrifice He'd have to make for their grace, but Rachel Caustello sees no need in advertising the fact that she is aware of the price she'll have to pay for her folly.
In the end, it's because she doesn't want to waste a moment with her daughter, with Cadogan, with Säde, with Avery, in life. She doesn't sleep because she's too busy writing letters of goodbye, asking for forgiveness and granting it unnecessarily.
And when the knife finally embeds itself into her body, when the blood comes bubbling up her throat, she laughs, taunts the man who she had put into the position to inflict this upon her and reminds him that truly, what goes around does come back around.
And then she finally, finally, sleeps at last.
no subject
She doesn't tell them that she's been released from the hospital right away. Instead, she takes the long way home, stops a while instead at the outposts, where they are all surprised to see their former Queen-- even more so to see her walking, albeit with the aid of crutches and leg braces. Lucas asks her if she's certain she wishes to remain, in her condition, and she tells him that if she can survive there, it will only make the final homecoming the more easier. He studies her with a concern he wouldn't've allowed to show when she was his Queen, then offers her a place in his home while she stays. Mulling on it takes some time, but eventually accepts. It's a wise decision.
Stella's hair is still as wild and blonde and full as it was when she was pressed against her chest in the middle of the attack that last devastated this place, but despite the grief it brought, her smile is still Diamond bright. It's a comfort, whenever the pain and weariness seems too much to bear. Stella becomes something of a personal cheerleader whenever Rachel works through the exercises prescribed to her by her most recent physical therapist, guided by the one that aided her years ago, when another lost battle with a man left her body and spirit broken.
Leaving is a difficult thing, but one she knows is necessary. She's unfinished business to do in the Deck, still. A little one to go back and cherish and comfort. Friendships to reform, and a new life to understand. She presses a kiss into Stella's hair before she goes, offers Lucas a true and grateful smile. The girl slips a small butterfly pendant into her hand and begs her to wear it and write, both of which Rachel easily promises to do.
And when the days in the Deck get too difficult-- when she falls, when she sees her little one jaded, when she sees Säde and Silas bowed down with the weight of a Suit she knows she cannot entirely help to carry-- she allows her fingers to brush against the pendant that rests where a ring once did and reminds herself that hope can be as simple and as beautiful as a child's smile after wartime.