Like Something from a Dream [Astraia!AU]

[thecutdiamond]

Ever since the dark-haired man (Gustave Asarlai, the love of her life several lifetimes ago) stepped out onto the Green, things have changed. Rachel (Astraia?) knows the two newcomers were surprised when she'd stepped forward and began speaking not only in a tongue their people alone knew, but with a familiarity one woman alone used with the Magician. Honestly, everyone on the Green at that moment had been surprised.

Rachel (Astraia?) included. 

Since then, flashes of memory have returned, striking at random. It's difficult to tell whose it is-- Rachel's or Astraia's or the handful of lives lived in-between-- so often she doesn't even try. Lets the snippets try to sort themselves out. Trying to see if the ones she can tell are of her oldest self line up with the tale the visitors tell only gives her headaches.

The flashbacks themselves leave her halting mid-step no matter where she is, eyes glassing over. Looking into a past so distant, it feels like little more than a dream.

(More and more, though, she begins to believe it isn't.)

Comments

[thecutdiamond]

There are papers scattered on Rachel's desk, semi-frantic writing in the Queen's penmanship on many. She picks them up now, leans against her desk as she holds them, absently shuffling through them.

"I've been-- trying to record the-- flashbacks I've been seeing," she begins, "Many are simply snippets, so it's hard to tell the details, but--" Another ruffling of the papers before she simply sets them back down on her desk. Her expression is sober as she meets Säde's eyes, "I've reason to believe that I-- that is, Astraia-- may have been killed in the course of the war."

And given what they understood of what she meant to The Magician, that was plenty of reason for the division that occurred since.

[ishineon]

...that wasn't what she'd expected.

And frankly, that made her even more wary of the Arcana. If Astraia had been killed by a fellow Arcana, they were not cohesive. If Astraia had been killed by a founder of the Deck, then the Magician might very well be here for revenge.

"Rachel, I- understand it's surely traumatising. Still- what details can you give?"

[thecutdiamond]

The other woman sighs, running a hand through her hair. There's a tiredness in her eyes that even years as a Queen hadn't brought about.

"I remember-- a passageway. Knives. Several flashes of light. And of course the--" The pain. That much had been clearer than anything. She falls silent, shaking her head.

"Little more than that."

[ishineon]

She rests a hand on Rachel's back, rubbing consolingly. "We can't speak for the emotions they felt during the war, but... you sought to end it peacefully. I remember that's what you said, and they said the same. There must be reasons why that wasn't acceptable to them."

[thecutdiamond]

"Funny how even then I could not do enough," she mutters bitterly.

And maybe that was why her soul had not rested; why she had found herself coming back again and again, seeking a chance to save what she had been unable to before.

Maybe it will be better this time around.

[ishineon]

Her fingers tighten, and then she's moving round, hands on Rachel's shoulders to look her firmly in the eyes. "Is that what you believe? That you've not done enough, even now?"

[thecutdiamond]

"What have I done, Säde?" she queries lowly, "All that time ago I failed to stop a war-- instead likely encouraging the bloodshed with my death. And now, with all the possible knowledge of what happened in that war-- useful knowledge which may be able to bridge the gap between our two peoples and fix what I failed to before-- I find myself entirely unable to recall anything but-- fragments."

And as for how she feels about what she has done as Queen before this situation came about well-- that is another matter entirely.

[ishineon]

"Don't say that. Did you wish to die? Did you order them to kill you? No. And it's been centuries since. We should not have to rely on you to bridge anything." She tilts her head. "If anything, it is they who should make amends. They sought us out. They didn't even expect you."

[thecutdiamond]

She sighs, hand running through her hair once more.

"Perhaps, but we were both in the wrong." And she's not certain, really which of the 'we' she is thinking herself a part of when she speaks, "And so both of us will have to work towards the mending."

If that is really what the Arcana came for at least; how she hopes so.

[ishineon]

Her fingers tighten a heartbeat longer, and then she's stepping back, taking her hands away. "Well, it won't help if we don't- pardon the pun- put all our cards on the table. It doesn't matter if you don't remember. They do. Can you not find some way...?"

[thecutdiamond]

She nods thoughtfully, "I will speak to Gustave." And there is a warmth in her voice when she says the name that isn't necessarily from Rachel.

"There was love between us, once, and that love tends not to fade when rendered apart suddenly." Despite the 'us,' the murmur is more from the Queen than the Star, a shadow passing over her face at the memory of her lost love of this life, "Perhaps he will speak plainly for the sake of that love, if nothing else."

[ishineon]

"He seemed willing enough to." Going by the reaction when Rachel's memories had come rushing back.

There's little they can manage when their only advantage is the reincarnation of a tragically murdered love.

[thecutdiamond]

But what an advantage it may be if utilized correctly.

"Tomorrow, then."